Devil's Garment
Surely, there can be no garment in this world that is more evil than the poncho.
A remnant of the decade that fashion forgot, these antediluvian monstrosities have emerged, gasping in to the 21st Century. Who cares that they are now machine-knitted, made from the finest lambs-wool and bought lovingly from Top Shop? They may be more professional ponchos that the ones your granny used to knit, they may be incredibly comfortable and practical for all I know. They are utterly ridiculous.
I suspect that the idea behind the poncho is that it is simple - it's essentially a shapeless item, not fitted in any way, and so not emphasising curves. It's the sort of garment that nuns would approve of, as it renders a woman completely asexual.
Ironically, the poncho was invented in 1970 by Clint Eastwood. As originally conceived, it was a practical working garment for men - it kept them warm while still giving the arms freedom of movement to shoot people and stuff. It was only once it was adopted by nutters and knitters that it metamorphosed in to the abomination of comedy knitwear that it has become.
When I see one I get the urge to laugh and point. Fortunately, I am well brung up, so I don't.
Hear hear, my dear. I thought they were ugly the first time round, but they certainly haven't weathered well. That crochet! *swoon*
The Wife loathes ponchos. I loathe women without sports bras jogging along the South Bank. We both point out their ills by halting them - either by smile, song or rugby tackle - then rap them sharply on the forehead with a sturdy soup spoon.
How the hours dance by.
Big fat girls hide under ponchos thinking that they look slimmer underneath them. But they don't! In fact skinny girls should wear ponchos to make themselves look fatter.
Big fat girls hide under Michelle McManus to make themselves look thinner - fact.