Embracing my inner self
- Demon Queen
Oh, I pity you if you're one of my colleagues today.
I have spent most of this morning wallowing in self-pity, which is probably down to a combination of my ongoing tropical disease drama, and the accompanying and doubtless related listlessness and passive-aggressive behaviour, which I'm recognising, saying hello to, introducing to my friends, and letting run rampant. I really shouldn't, but I am letting the evil genie out of the evil bottle and embracing my inner bitch-queen.
And she's nasty. I think she needs a name, and that name is going to be Zebithaya Kell-Ashe for reasons which I'll go into another time.
We started writing a couple of posts here earlier, but decided not to finish them. We'll save them for later. I started writing them myself, but then Zebithaya saw what I was doing, and took over for a while. The result was almost evil. They're the sort of posts that are wickedly creative, but at the moment they're just gratuitously offensive. I'm still in control here, but only just. I wanted to delete them, but she wouldn't let me.
Zebithaya is also writing my e-mail. She's very good at it. She picks and chooses the questions that she wants to respond to. For example, a colleague of mine wrote to me saying "can you revise document X to make it better". Zebithaya wrote back to say "I'm aware that document X is not great, and it's on my list of documents to improve. [Thank you for pointing it out, but it's very easy to point out things that are wrong without saying why they're wrong, or suggesting improvements.] I'm open to any suggestions you have." Zebithaya then pointed out that document X was replaced by document Y some five months previously.
I got called in to a meeting. I was asked to do some work, which is fair enough. Then I got back to my desk, looked at it, and saw that what I was being asked to do actually looked ridiculous. So... Zebithaya went back in and explained why we weren't happy to proceed. She did get a little stared at, but she stuck to her guns because she was right.
It's interesting. I'm not saying I'm entirely happy about it, but releasing my inner demon is proving cathartic in some ways and distressing in others. I'm more concerned than Zebithaya is, but then she doesn't really care about anything apart from herself.
11 October, 2004
