Once upon a time, in a country far, far away, there were dragons and wizards and a very clean and tidy medieval town.
Gwen Cooper, formerly of the police and latterly of Torchwood had found herself there after a particularly dodgy night of drinking and promptly decided that the best thing to do was to watch her son get executed and then exact revenge by taking over the body of a singer who looked exactly like she had looked years before. And then singing people in to a trance.
The plan was to kill the son of the Gold Blend couple in a complex revenge killing scenario. However, she hadn't counted on the goth kid from the bus in Midnight, who is the greatest sorceror of his time and able to freeze time and destroy planets just by a wave of his hand escaping her spell due to the mystic power of holding his hands over his ears and going la-la-la I can't hear you.
It was this or the X Factor.
On second thoughts, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.